Appendix A – The Cruising Years (2002-2015)
This page will contain memories from some of the 50 cruises that I worked on as a ‘Guest Headline Entertainer’. Chronologically, this will overlap with chapters 13 to 16, but I hope it will make for better reading this way…
It was October 2002 when I received a call from one of Sydney’s best entertainment agents, to see if I would be interested in working on a cruise ship. This was a question I had been asked before throughout my career, and it was always to play in a band for a contract that would last for several months. I had always rejected the idea, perhaps coloured by my experience as a passenger on a Russian ship in 1977.
However, this was an eight-day engagement on a luxury liner and I would only have to perform my cabaret act a couple of times. My official designation would be ‘Guest Entertainer’, or GENT for short. Here was a world I didn’t realise existed and as it turned out, highly sought after by variety acts. It appeared that everyone in this tightly-knit group was otherwise engaged, so via an American entertainment agency, a general call had gone to local agents out for an ‘instrumental’ artist and fortunately with a bit of shuffling, I was available.
Holland America’s Prinsendam, as viewed from the Singapore Cable Car to Sentosa Island. October 2002.
I flew to Singapore and joined the Prinsendam, one of the smaller cruise ships in Holland America’s fleet. It was due to depart the next day for Bali, but the tragedy of the ‘Bali Bombings’ had just recently occurred and the port was off-limits. This was very distressing for the large contingent of Indonesian crew-members who had been at sea for a long time and were hoping for a glimpse of home and loved ones. It had also affected passenger numbers that were well below the 740 capacity of the vessel.
We spent an extra day docked opposite Sentosa Island instead, before setting sail to Broome in Western Australia. The atmosphere on-board was quite subdued, and during those days at sea, I performed my show on the oceans for the first time. It turned out that the band had been drafted in at short notice too and they were actually a lounge band, rather than a sight-reading backing band, but they rose to the challenge. I had time to explore the ship and also find out what was expected of me. From Broome it was one day’s sailing to Darwin in the Northern Territory and a flight home to Sydney.
The Crown Odyssey docked at Papeete, French Polynesia, December 2002
Variety night on the Norwegian Crown 2003.
Clockwise from bottom left:
Alan and Caroline Vandome (Tensai),
Belinda Marks, Steve Lewis, Leanne Kroezen,
Dave Burke, Bob Howe, Simon Murray.
Island Boys – Tony Pantano was arriving, just as I was leaving. Ships that pass in the night! Crown Odyssey, March 2003
Having become excited at future prospects, there was now a three year gap in my cruising career, and I thought perhaps it had finished before it had really started. In 2006 I approached a local cruise agency who happily gave me three trips; two on P&O and one in January 2007 on the more up-market Pacific Princess. Being the holiday period, Karen accompanied me for the first time and it was a round-trip from Sydney that took in Noumea and Vanuatu. On the night of my show the ship hit rough seas and not many people left their cabins. The Cruise Director suggested I sit on a stool, but I said I’d be fine standing. Karen said it looked hilarious as my head tried to match the swaying of the microphone stand.
Perhaps by coincidence, the U.S. agency then unexpectedly started booking me again, with three contracts for the ultra-luxury Silversea cruise line. There were different requirements on different lines and one of the variations on Silversea was that Guest Entertainers were expected to ‘host’ a table in the dining room each night. In practice that meant eating with a new group of wealthy passengers each night and having to explain why I was there, as very few of them actually attended the shows. One passenger who did see my show found me having afternoon tea one day and asked if she could join me.
She gave her credentials as the owner of an Australian fashion school and then proceeded to give me tips on how to dress. Her first suggestion was that I wear Armani suits? I replied that I had thought about it, because Eric Clapton wore Armani suits at the time, although I didn’t point out the difference between my income and Eric’s fortunes. The lady then followed up with a question as to whether or not I had ever considered wearing a toupée! I politely listened to her advice and joked that my wife had told me not to bow after each song in case the spotlight bounced off my bald spot.
The Silver Cloud would take me on my first cruise around New Zealand. I enjoyed this a lot as the itinerary would include a different port nearly every day as the ship travelled along the east coast of both islands. My friends Mick and Kerry now lived within driving distance of the port at the Bay of Islands and on various visits, time permitting, they would often meet me for lunch and take me sightseeing to wonderful places like this waterfall at Kerikeri.
Arriving in a different country at the start of each cruise meant a transit from an airport to a hotel, or perhaps straight to the ship. In theory the local ‘Port Agent’ would organise this and I would be forearmed with the relevant details. Things didn’t always go smoothly, such as the time I arrived in Manila to again join the Silver Cloud in March 2007. The Port Agent wasn’t there to meet me, so I obtained some local coins and rang the number I had been given. He seemed somewhat confused but said he was on his way and some time later he did arrive.
We took a taxi towards the city but he said he had to call in at his office on the way. After another long delay, we set off again to the docks, only to get stuck in a huge traffic jam. As we crawled along, the car radio blared with voices shouting in Filipino and eventually I asked what it was all about. It transpired that the head of a preschool centre had hijacked a Manila bus and taken 32 of his own pupils and two teachers hostage in a plea for better housing and education. Eventually the children were freed unharmed and I later learned that the country was divided as to whether the teacher was a criminal, or a hero of the poorer classes for exposing government corruption.
This cruise would be one of the longest journeys I took, spanning some 16 days on-board and travel days at each end. The Silver Cloud would be setting sail from Manila in the early hours of the morning, so even though I had finally arrived at the ship, I left again almost immediately for my only chance to see the city. I caught the last shuttle bus into town and had a brief wander around. Walking back to the dock it was late and dark, so I decided to take the only transport handy, a buggy owned by ‘Josh’ and pulled by his horse ‘Patrick’. They got me to within a mile of the ship, as close as they were allowed to go.
At the the Royal Regalia Museum, Brunei 2007
The next day the ship called at Corregidor Island, followed by Sandakan and Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia. I was looking forward to this as my Uncle Bob had been stationed here in the sixties and I was able to take current photos of the city for him. From there it was on to Muara in Brunei, Singapore, Port Blair on South Andaman Island, Chennai (Madras) on the Bay of Bengal in eastern India and finally Colombo, Sri Lanka.
The hotel in Colombo had a guard with a machine gun at its entrance. In my room a sticker on the window declared, “Please do not take photographs out of the window as this is a restricted area”. I still went out for a wander and ended up at a nearby temple that had a bone relic of Buddha on display.
A return to the Princess cruise line would be next for me, with several trips including Hawaii, Tahiti, Fiji, and Brunei again. On 28th February 2010, I awoke at the Holiday Inn in Suva. 
The Pacific Princess was due to dock soon at the port, so I headed to the restaurant for breakfast. I didn’t know that there had been a tragic earthquake in Chile, magnitude 8.8, and that here in Suva, the tsunami warning was about to sound.
The hotel staff were well-prepared and they rounded up all their guests and marched us up a hill to higher ground (pictured left). They looked after us there for a couple of hours – until the all-clear sounded – and then we returned to collect our belongings. Later, the ship was finally able to dock. One of the other entertainers told me later that he was eating his breakfast and the waitress said, “We’ll be going for a little walk when you’ve finished your eggs.” He thought to himself, “What a quaint local custom.”
There were always long delays on the transfers to and from the ships. Often there would be a late night arrival at one airport 
along the way and lots of hanging around until the first flight out the next morning. Sometimes a transit hotel was provided, but often by the time you got there, it was time to turn around and go back to the airport. One time I disembarked the Sun Princess in the port of Hong Kong and checked in at the airport for the flight home with fellow entertainers Maggie Scott, Trevor Knight and Normie Rowe.
Such was the length of the time we had to kill, Normie and I took a ride back to the city so that he could visit one of his favourite tailors. Conversely, there were also some very short domestic trips, like Sydney to Adelaide on the Pacific Princess – embark one day, show the next, disembark the third day. Karen came with me on that one, meeting her Mother, Vera who flew to Adelaide so they could have a holiday there together.
Aotearoa – ‘Land of the Long White Cloud’
Around the same time, Royal Caribbean called on my services and I made several journeys on the Radiance of the Seas and the Rhapsody of the Seas, all of them around Australia and New Zealand. I particularly enjoyed a trip from Perth to Melbourne as it took in several ports in southern Western Australia that I had never visited before. After a gap of 11 years from my very first voyage, Holland America also booked me, to travel from Hawaii to Fiji aboard the Volendam. As an example of how flight arrangements had become so random, there were three entertainers travelling from Sydney to Honolulu for this contract.
One was sent on a direct flight, one had to ‘overnight’ in Fiji on the way, while I was flown to Los Angeles for a night in a hotel and then all the way back to Hawaii the next morning!
Waiting at LAX (Los Angeles International Airport), I saw Batman walk past, but I don’t think he was the real one. Firstly because I said “Morning Bruce” and he ignored me, and secondly because he had a goatee beard beneath his mask. Later Spiderman and Superman turned up as well. Gate 41 was all decked out for a little boy by a Make A Wish style organisation. They also had balloons and free cake for everyone.
There were the usual lectures and talks on the Volendam, but also a celebrity speaker. Claiming to be just a random passenger who had been asked to give a talk, was American singer/actor Jim Nabors. He told funny stories from his career – including his portrayal of the character Gomer Pyle – punctuated by video clips, and then did a 50-minute Q&A session. He was 80 years old at the time and had lived in Hawaii for many years. Until recently, he had owned a macadamia plantation on Maui. It was obvious on this occasion how the audience had great affection for him. A few days later he said “hello” to me in an elevator, and I was able to tell him how much I had enjoyed his presentation.
Regardless of elaborate preparations, things didn’t always go to plan – sometimes in a minor way, but sometimes a complete failure to launch. October 2011, I was booked for a trip that was to begin in Japan, then continue on to Vladivostok in Russia, Busan in South Korea, plus three Chinese ports, the last being Beijing. I was very excited as I had never been to any of these places before. It was short notice, but I just managed to get to the Sydney Chinese Visa office in time to apply for my visa. Later it appeared that I had received confusing advice from them. There was nothing to do but forfeit that visa and buy a different multiple entry version – and pay a premium to have it rushed through. Ten days before the trip, despite visas, flights and hotels being booked, the cruise line had a scheduling conflict. Although they looked after me financially, my trip was disappointingly cancelled.
2011 finished in style, cruising on Royal Caribbean’s Radiance of the Seas. Being Christmas, Karen was on holiday so we flew to Dunedin on New Zealand’s South Island a few days before the sailing date, ready to join the ship on my birthday. From there it was up the coast to Akoroa, Wellington (best library ever), art deco town Napier, around volcanic White Island, Mount Maunganui and Tauranga (hello Jo), and finally beautiful Auckland Harbour.
I had sailed on the Radiance the previous month and really enjoyed working with their 9-piece band behind me (2 trumpets, 3 saxes, piano, bass, drums, guitar). Land-based gigs had all but retired their horn sections by now, so this was a treat. Saxophonist Lauren Evans was bandleader for the cruise and when I decided to substitute a tune at the last minute, I asked her if she would duet with me on the Dave Stewart/Candy Dulfer hit Lily Was Here. Although I had the complicated part written out for her, she quickly memorised it so that she could freely ‘duel’ with me. Lauren did a mighty job and the audience went wild. Check it out again in this video clip…
On the first port day I went ashore to Akoroa, a small town that still shows the influence of the French settlers from the 1800s. Being a tentative sailor, Karen had decided to stay onboard the ship, rather than take a bumpy ride on the small tender boat.
Since the recent tragic earthquakes in nearby Christchurch, Akoroa had become a substitute port for cruise ships. As I walked along the main road I felt the bounce of a minor earth tremor. Later, I learnt that it was actually from a larger aftershock near Christchurch. I thought no more of it until I returned to the ship.
Apparently, while I was on shore exploring, the Captain had made an announcement about the ‘earthquake’, remarking that there were “no reports of casualties” amongst his passengers! Karen was more than relieved when I returned unharmed but unaware of the concern the announcement had caused.
Soon it was Christmas Day and we joined fellow entertainers – chanteuse Jenifer Green and multi-instrumentalist Amber Jade – in a delightful onboard Christmas dinner. We continued up the east coast of New Zealand, arriving in Auckland eight days later and from there, Karen and I flew home to Sydney to celebrate the New Year.
On New Year’s Day 2012, I flew to Darwin to join Holland America’s cruise ship Zaandam, sailing to Singapore via Komodo Island (there be dragons!), Bali and Java.
Komodo Dragon – photo by Bob Howe 2012
Niels Duinker
This would be my busiest year at sea and the time between journeys was getting shorter. Next was a very refined trip around New Zealand on the Seven Seas Voyager (including Timaru, pictured above), followed by Cairns to Lombok on the Amsterdam. It was on that trip that I first met fellow guest entertainer Niels Duinker, an amazing comedy juggler from the Netherlands who holds three Guinness World Records.
We had a good laugh one afternoon while being served at the ship’s café. The waitress took my order and then asked me, “What would your son like?” It wasn’t so funny later when it dawned on me – I really was old enough to be his father! On this cruise, as well as our own shows, we shared a Variety Night with a new act called the Aussie Boys.
Niels continued to tour the world, played Las Vegas and in 2020, a season at The Amish Country Theater in Ohio. As I write, I have just heard that over there in Harrison Country, the judge has proclaimed that January 11th is Niels Duinker Day.
Back in 2012, when we were on the Amsterdam, Niels took this photo of me onstage:
A week later I was on Royal Caribbean’s Radiance, from Melbourne to New Zealand. Niels was there too, having been all the way home to the Netherlands and back. At the end of the journey, I disembarked to fly home from Wellington to Sydney, in time to attend the 12th Annual A.C.E. Awards that night, but the weather had a different plan. A fog rolled in and all planes were grounded. To compound the problem, there were sporting events and conventions in the city that meant all the accommodation was booked out. I ended up trying to sleep on an airport bench, eventually spending 22 hours there before I could get a flight. By then, I only had 16 hours in Sydney before I was back in the air, this time headed for Tahiti to join the Holland America ship, the Rotterdam.
For the next three weeks the Rotterdam would sail on to San Diego, then along the Pacific coast of Mexico (the Mexican Riviera). On the night before San Diego, there was a variety show with myself, exciting Australian electric violinist Suzie G, and hilarious American comedian Dick Hardwick. Dick also holds a place in the Guinness Book of World Records as comedic star of Disneyland’s Golden Horseshoe Revue, the longest running live stage show at the park. I must have seen him perform when I visited there in 1984! Dick was also a musician and instigated a finale for the Variety Night where the three of us could play together. We played the classic tune Caravan, with Dick adding a drum solo.
Mexico was where I spent Easter; Good Friday at La Iglesia de Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe in Puerto Vallarta, Easter Sunday at Parroquia De Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe Y De La Santa Cruz in Huatulco, and Easter Monday at San Augustin Cathedral in Tapachula. In-between we passed by Acapulco, which sadly at the time was deemed too ‘high-risk’ for the safety of tourists. Back on board I sang the Mexican song Perfidia in Spanish during my show, and hoped the passengers weren’t too fluent in the language.
Eventually the Rotterdam arrived at Guatemala City in Central America. From there it was a 30-hour journey home (Guatemala-Houston-Los Angeles-Sydney). I had insisted on coming back before the next two trips, so that I could be with my Mum for her 80th birthday.
Three days later I was on my way to Fiji where the Volendam would take me on to Hawaii. Once I was there, I finally had a moment to catch my breath in Honolulu for three days (a rare treat) waiting for the Oosterdam to arrive. From there it was a short hop to Nawiliwili on Kauai, followed by five sea days in a row.
On the last night I shared a Variety Night with fellow Aussie Annie Frances (a very popular singer on many Holland America cruises) and Matilda & Patrick Murray. Matilda is the “Caribbean Queen of Comedy”, while Patrick is “the the man who’s always trying to put words in her mouth”. A very clever ventriloquist, Patrick even gets Matilda to sing the American version of I’ve Been Everywhere. I was delighted to relate that to my friend Geoff Mack (author of the song) when I was back in Sydney.
At last the Oosterdam arrived at Vancouver B.C. in western Canada. Once we got there, I had time to wander around Vancouver and check out the historic Gastown neighbourhood, and later I couldn’t resist having my photo taken in Howe Street.
In complete contrast to this extravagance, when I went ashore in Melbourne, I chanced upon legendary Daddy Cool guitarist Ross Hannaford. He was street-busking in the laneways of the café set, accompanied only by a cajón player, much to the delight of the passing crowd.
Christmas 2012 on the Oosterdam
2013 continued with the Radiance and then the Westerdam which I enjoyed particularly as Holland America were more inclined to vary the nationalities of the Guest Entertainers. On this 13-day trip from Lahaina, Maui to Bora Bora, I was joined by a Russian classical pianist, a Dean Martin tribute from the U.K., and a comic and an Opera singer, both from New York. The trip home was a struggle; flying first to Papeete where the port agent wasn’t expecting me and no hotel was booked. The next morning I arrived three hours early for an ‘International’ flight to Rarotonga in the Cook Islands, only to find they classed that as a domestic flight and the airport was still closed.
Waiting for my luggage during the next transfer in Rarotonga, my guitar failed to materialise. By the time I realised, all the staff had disappeared, save for Papa Jake Numanga, the wonderful ukulele player who sat inside the circle of the luggage conveyor belt, entertaining the new arrivals. Luckily for me, he guessed correctly that my guitar case had failed to make the turn on the belt and was sitting outside, back on the tarmac, and he had the necessary pass to be able to retrieve it for me.
Another crisis averted, I bought him a drink in the café and we swapped CDs as I awaited my connecting flight. Papa Jake retired in 2018 after 36 years of greeting and singing farewell to visitors to Rarotonga every single day. Later that night I arrived in Auckland and snatched a few hours sleep there before I was yet again back at the airport at 5am, more than ready to fly home.
The Basilica of Saint Anthony of Padua, Nuku’alofa, Tonga
Later in September, it was 4.30am when I arrived in Port Kelang and the Dawn Princess wasn’t due until the next day, so after a nap, I had time to catch a train into Kuala Lumpur for a spot of shopping. Boarding the ship the next day, I knew I had to work that night so I was glad to have already done my sight-seeing. I always featured and introduced the band in my shows and also thanked the technical crew. I had met so many musicians over the years, but this night wasn’t a strain on my memory – three of the band were named Matthew and both the sound and lighting engineers were named George.
Soon after I was on the Ocean Princess, with more names to learn as we sailed from Auckland to Apia via Tonga. Over the years I was surprised on-board several times by fans from Australia, distant in-laws, people from my hometown, audience-members who had heard me on the radio, and even fellow entertainers who were travelling as passengers. Inevitably, there was also the occasional passenger who thought I was one of the Howie Brothers (see Chapter 14 if you don’t get that reference!).
In November I sailed on the Oceania Marina for the first time, from Hobart to Auckland. My guitar didn’t arrive with the rest of my luggage in Hobart, but thankfully after several hours of wondering where I could get a replacement, the airline delivered it to my hotel as it had arrived on a subsequent flight. Phew! During the cruise, I shared a Variety night with the wonderful Karen Beckett and I joined her at the end to play guitar for her rendition of Patsy Cline’s Crazy.
Bad weather in the Tasman Sea meant that the Captain thankfully decided not to sail the Marina down the west coast of New Zealand and attempt the loop under the South Island. Instead he took a direct route to arrive earlier than expected in Wellington.
In April 2014 I had a fabulous experience, sailing from Perth in Western Australia to Mauritius in the Indian Ocean, on board the Japanese cruise ship Asuka II. Fellow entertainer, accordionist Ross Maio and myself were the only ‘western’ performers on this leg of their world tour and we played to six-hundred Japanese-speaking audience members. Ross had the advantage of having learned his stage ‘patter’ in Japanese from previous visits to the ship, whereas I made do with some rudimentary phrases that the Cruise Director had supplied for me and a lot of mimed actions.
At showtime, I was amazed when a young lady gave me lengthy introduction from memory that, although it was in Japanese, I could tell included references to my biography. As well as our individual concerts in the theatre, Ross and I also played a deck-party for the guests and my wireless guitar unit was very useful as I roamed the deck and played on top of the covered hot tub. The audience received us very warmly and the cruise staff treated us like long-lost friends.
 Dashing around the deck… |
 …on top of the hot tub! |
 Luckily the hot tub was covered! |
 Ross Maio gets the crowd dancing. |
Translation of the text above includes the phrases: “…6 strings, neck and body, the most popular and representative stringed instrument in modern times – ‘guitar’. Tonight, Bob Howe brings the guitar to life. Please enjoy the supreme technique…” and my second show billing included “…Various tones produced from a single guitar. World-recognized technician Bob. Welcome to Howe’s stage! Art born from sometimes powerful and supple touch”. I was greatly honoured.
Fellow entertainer Karen Beckett and myself flew to Apia, Samoa in April 2014, changing planes in Auckland, NZ on the way. Sadly our suitcases and my guitar did not make the switch with us, as we learned once we arrived in Apia. We filled in the lost luggage forms and expressly asked that the luggage not be sent to Apia as we were setting sail the next day, before the next plane was due. Through good planning, Karen had a sparkly frock and all her music in her hand luggage and I had the printed music for my first show, plus the second show stored on a USB thumb-drive. I made a quick trip to the local market and bought a glittery island-style shirt and the guitarist in the ship’s band so very kindly offered to lend me his guitar as needed.
Of course, our luggage did arrive in Apia the next day, but after we had left the shore. It had to be sent back to Auckland and then forwarded on, not to our next stop at Pago Pago in American Samoa (because again we would have already left), but to the next destination, Papeete in Tahiti.
It was off to the markets again to buy more clothes and supplies to last the next few days.
It was 6 days before the luggage finally arrived and even then, it was being held at Papeete airport because it was Easter Saturday and they had minimal staff on duty. After repeated calls via the port agent, I resigned myself that for my second show, scheduled for that night, I would have to used borrowed gear again. I went to the office and printed out around 200 pages of music for the band.
Unbelievably, one hour before showtime, the luggage turned up at the ship. When travelling internationally, my lightweight Tomkins guitar is specially designed so the neck and body can be separated to fit in a suitcase. Useful because different airlines have their own rules as to whether they charge for luggage by the piece or by overall weight. As the minutes counted down to showtime, I bolted my guitar back together, put a new set of strings on, got changed into my stage clothes and distributed the music with help from the wonderful band. I was tuning the last guitar string as the curtains opened! The audience, having seen my first show and both of Karen Beckett’s nights, were well aware of our plight. I got a hearty laugh from them when I introduced a special guest…and wheeled my suitcase out from the side of stage.
Finally able to relax, here I am homeward bound on the ferry to Bora Bora Airport, located on the islet of Motu Mute in French Polynesia.
My last two cruises, a year apart, were both on the Dawn Princess and both started in Papeete. The first Cruise Director had been told I would arrive the night before and was worried because I hadn’t shown up at the hotel, not knowing the cruise line had actually booked me to arrive the following morning. The piano player was sick and missed my first show, but we soldiered on and she thankfully recovered in time for my second appearance.
The trip ended in Pago Pago (American Samoa) where I was surprised to be given a day room at the beach-front resort Sadies By The Sea. Comedy actor Glynn Nicholas who had also performed on the cruise, had an earlier flight home, so I let him use my room while I was out shopping. Later I enjoyed some good swimming at the hotel’s private beach before catching the late night flight home via Honolulu.
My last cruise ended in Suva, Fiji in October 2015. I was happy to have had so many wonderful experiences, even though they were tempered by some very ordinary and lengthy trips getting to and from the ships. The more I concentrated on the certainty of land-based shows, the harder it had now become to ‘drop everything’ at short notice for an occasional booking at sea. Entertainment trends were changing too, as cruise lines tried new themes and attractions to entice the ever-growing numbers of passengers.
Over the years, I always approached these journeys from a work perspective first and foremost. Everything after that was a bonus. Being a teetotaller and never having had a drink in the ‘crew bar’, my experiences were probably less social than that of many of my colleagues. However, I have many great memories and looking back now, I was so lucky to travel during a safer time – and to see so much of the world at close quarters.
My thanks to all the hard-working musicians and crew who enabled me to entertain so many people in those floating showrooms, and to all the cruise lines that gave me the opportunity. Most of all, my thanks to Jayne, Nigel, Barry, Dominique and all the team, and to my dearest Karen who kept the home fires burning throughout.
Tahitian Sunset – photo by Bob Howe
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